I did the walk of shame to another booty call
I don't think that should turn me on, but it does
i don't remember it, but i know we had sex because my stuffed animals were facing the wall
dinner is belligerent. she just poured the rest of the pitcher of margaritas into a take home box. people are staring.
I am particularly sorry about getting dome in your backseat. And for thinking you wouldn't notice.
I had no where to run... The dumpster sounded like a good idea at the time
My mom just admitted you were a good looking kid & if you weren't my friend & 30 years older she would do you. I'm going to commit suicide.
He told me to fuck off at some point in the night. I think it was right before he jumped out of a moving car trying to get to another bar and made Abby cry.
Dude. 21 days till I'm 21. It's the 21 day countdown. The 25 days of Christmas can suck my dick.
Question: should I be considering heels or is this the kind of night where I should plan on falling on my face regardless of my choice of footwear?
Since the world is still here you can go ahead and disregard those pictures I sent
Everytime Our professor said "penis fencing" in class today we took shots.
I have enough bourbon in me to put Justin's cat in the dishwasher.
Only you could go on vacation to visit family and hook up with a pro NFL player from Tinder
Long fucking story. But hey I got an orgasm and breakfast so I'm winning.
When your grandma invites you to a sweet girls' Valentine's dinner with your mom and sister, but you have to decline because you're trying to get two dudes to rail you at once...
Randomize
