have fun at tinkers! p.s. are there any hot guys who look like they wanna wait until marriage to have sex?
Do vagina's smell?
You thought cars couldnt see you if you stuck your head in the mail box
you were eating the carrots out of my guinea pig's cage and saying that you needed them more than they ever would.
...She then said get into the spirit and started making firecracker noises while having sex
Bad news. Pictures just stimulated my memory and i just realized the stripper I hooked up with this weekend tasted like pizza.
I'm not gonna lie. having my legs shaved for me in the morning was a lovely surprise.
What would you do if you came home and i was in nothing but the table cloth?
Dude, fuck the siberian warm up. You can't put vodka in hot chocolate. Learn from my mistakes
Lesson learnt. Sex toy cleaning spray is not an acceptable substitute to clean your glasses with.
When you put my balls in your mouth i just want to buy you expensive gifts...you know what i mean?
Well, after emptying the contents of my stomach into a fucking rose bush, the only things moving through my digestive system are pills, coffee, and my own lip gloss. If that gives you any idea what kind of a day I'm having.
Let's fuck under the stars. And by under the stars I mean in my bed underneath my glow in the dark star stickers.
You offered the police officer a Snickers ice cream bar and cried when he wouldn't take it...
mid-october of freshman year. goals have shifted from "no more guys on my floor" to "all the guys on my floor."
Randomize
