Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
it turns out jennifers body is not good to beat off to. yeah its megan fox but when she pukes up blood = goodbye boner
Can you tell me why I have pubes stuck in my teeth?
Dude a guy just showed up with alcohol and a bag of double cheese burgers. I think I found my future husband.
I may have pooped in your shoe. or somewhere else in your closet. its unclear.
Transgendered man at work dawning a slutty batman costume. I hate Halloween
Its not even 10am and we are talking about what guys assholes we would finger.
You are the worst substitute drug dealer ever
I'm missing some hair, but it's cool. Breadsticks are done.
I can't figure out if I'm dying from all of the booze still in my system, or from the cement wall.
Apparently I'm ahead in the foot race to his dick because I'm not insane. If I'd have known that's all it took, I'd have worn sweat pants more often.
Just dodged a state trooper, your weed will be there shortly. Fear the unbustable!
I SMOKED SO MUCH I SKIPPED A DAY.
So you told me to remind you that you vomited 3 times in the street because you would forget so here is your reminder
There is a car windscreen wiper in my handbag... Not my car's, not ok.
Randomize
