I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
what made you think it was a good idea to trust the girl that hides tequila in her backpack?
I don't know what kind of drugs you were on last night but you kept trying to highlight my face because you said I was important
Tell me why I'm at Target and this entire Spanish family is crowding around the condoms questioning which ones they should get
We could make it a date. Dinner and a show. The show being my nipples getting pierced.
The trip involved octopus tentacles coming from the little holes in my TV's speakers. The beauty of the nonexistant symbolism had me in tears.
At some point last night Lemondrops turned into me doing shots of vodka and eating sugar packets at the bar.
I cartwheeled across every street... They tried to stop me but I bit anyone who came near me
I take it we used my cleavage as a pen holder last night during the graffiti party. Looks like the colours of Crayola exploded all over my chest
It's been a long time since I got "Talk about Glen's enormous penis" drunk
His dick is so big it could be an arm rest.
I've had more lap dances than hrs of sleep since Thursday, this is why you're planning all three of my bachelor parties
I think I'm just going to go like every guy on tinder who has a jetski. I'm doing this for us, Summer is coming.
I am pants-free in the living room. This is liberating.
Hurry I'm alone dressed like a prostitute eating French fries.
Randomize