Dude if it is possible to orgasm from shitting i think it just happened.
Karaoke makes my soul die one wretched song at a time
Gym doesn't open till 11. I'm sure that of the other four people waiting in the lobby, I'm the only one still drunk and only going to the gym to shower.
We learned a lot about one another. I showed him around the town I grew up in and he informed me that he has had a threesome and killed a cat
Him cheating on his girlfriend resulted in a $1500 hospital bill from repeated blows to his testicles by my ass. They diagnosed his pain as "testicle trauma". Sex karma at it's finest.
I was to tired to jerk him off, so he made me hold it while he thrusted into my hand.
Also, just had a student offer to sell me Xanax. Want some? Just for like a rainy day. Or our memorial day shitshow. Or just another Wednesday night.
Just living on dreams and a bed of used condoms
I don't trust myself to shower and not drown.
Well, he asked what my sign was, then proceeded to critique me on my beer pong stance... I really need to raise my standards.
Seriously, he's as bad as Joffrey. I hope this ends like Game Of Thrones did.
It's 90 percent alcohol, and 10 percent a whisper that says "get drunk"
What kind of sociopath goes to sleep at 9pm when I clearly need attention
How do you explain to your kids that you met their mother well you were giving her a gynecological exam??
Would you like to get a drink then hook up or reverse order I don't really care. Hopefully you can keep this between us.
Randomize
