I’m once again drinking at eight am on a Sunday in my tutu. This garment is literally my best purchase ever.
Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
They were done having sex when I went to the room. They had that look on their faces.
Disappointment?
Apparently she held up my head the entire 40 minutes, convincing the cab driver that I was okay
is election day enough of a holiday to justify getting fucked up on a tuesday?
Sorry I pulled the thermostat off the wall..
dude, apparently i tried to force feed my grandma bananas last night.
And by go well you mean everyone's hammered right?
Yupp. And someone's bleeding
I'm sitting in Starbucks, waiting for direction in my life, or it to be 8 p.m. Whatever comes first.
Everyone should know the rule that if your dicks touch during a threeway you just make lightsaber noises and move on.
He doesn't drink liquor so instead of doing a body shot off my belly button he dropped water in there and sipped it out with a straw. Look at my face: =|
He hasn't touched a vagina in two and a half years. THIS IS WAY TOO MUCH PRESSURE TO BE UNDER
have fuck
*fun
actually forget it have a fuck too it'll do you good
Is it sad that my idea of a quality foursome would involve one person eating me out while the other two rub my feet?
Randomize
