I realized today that the only reason you made out with Travis is because he has nice teeth
He's been grabbing my ass as a greeting since 2004, sex was overdue
You rolled out of the car, got on all fours and puked then just nonchalantly stood up and waved goodbye and thanks for the ride.
I really hope our interview with channel 6 last night doesn't air or else my parents are gona get a first hand look at my alcohol problem
There are 3 guys sitting in the elevator in lawn chairs wearing sunglasses and holding beers. the hallway rugs are stuffed in a trash can. i've never been so glad to be sober.
That was nice of you. Thank you for respecting the fact that I got cockblocked by a sophomore last night.
I bought a sword. Make the proper arrangements.
What is she getting? Last time we talked her behavior was conducive to getting a tramp stamp on her face.
she put on her moms wedding dress and is chugging purple jolly rancher vodka, happy cyber monday
I would like to request a high five for getting laid while wearing crocs and a crab hat.
The best was when you were crying, and trying to get the bouncer to "understand you AS A HUMAN BEING"
We've been watching Scooby Doo and having sex for the past 36 hours, so life is great
I just made deviled eggs for everyone not passed out. Im officially becoming a drunk chef.
I don’t care how cute or big a guy is I’m done with drunken hand jobs. It was like I was pulling a nine inch bungee cord for 25 minutes. Now My arm and shoulder is dead
Bahahah I should. I’m the free range drunk girl who should clearly not be free range because who knows what kind of fuckery I would get into
Randomize