coke and sex party at dan's
im watching greys anatomy with megan...
wha-pishhh
Am I a whore if I make out with a boy just so michelle can't?
Some dude at the gas station right now is buying a 30 rack of beast and a can of cat food. Happy Thanksgiving.
Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
You bet me 100 dollars that the Raiders would win the super bowl this year. I have it on tape.
How do I tell my mom that she just went to the gym with my water bottle filled with vodka...
I told him I don't date guys unless they play a musical instrument. So, he's here and he brought a kazoo.
I think we can all look back on last night and categorize it under, " reason why Cory can't be left at the bar by himself"
It was like getting head from an anaconda
I just had to stop two people giving each other hand jobs in the pool. That was not something I was taught in lifeguard training
He took shrooms and didn't want anyone to touch him. He kept saying he was a chip and he didn't want to break.
I may or may not have just ruined a marriage. But in my defense I got all my drinks for free tonight.
Sitting here reading the internet and all i have to show for this summer is a shitty tan and the possible case of clamidia.
He could stay over, if you'd just ask.
Yeah. What am I supposed to say? "Oh, my couch is occupied, but my vagina's not"
If catching your vomit in my hands while swimming in a bath tub full of it doesn't make us best friends, I don't know what will
Randomize
