I love how you send me nude pics of girls you're fucking and name them by which city they're in instead of their name. "This is Nashville, this is Tupelo, this is Jackson..."
Get out of your relationship and into my pants.
I was so high last night that i'm 89% sure my roommates set up an obstacle course for me and timed it. Not positive.. I think one of the challenges was pairing shoes
I coulnt tell if he was cumming or if I was throwing up
I just sold my mom a dimebag. Should I feel scared or sucessful?
Your remote is drenched in lotion and you expect me to believe you weren't masturbating?!
There's a transgender game of twister in the basement...God doesnt want me to type this paper.
I bought a 9 dollar purse from payless so if I throw up in it tomorrow, no biggie.
I'm so prepared to puke on walk of shame tomorrow that I'm putting a toothbrush and toothpaste in my purse the night before. And to think, my dad thought I wouldn't make it in college.
We smoked speed and opium for the first time. ended up harvesting cucumbers with locals at 9am in a farmers field. Laos is fuckin crazy.
I don't give a damn about what he wants to do with his life. Personalities are for pussies.
Trust me. I don't get home before 5am. I know what Immmm doing. BTW bail money is in my closet. PEACE
I told my grandmother all I want is a nice guy who likes to be tied up.
I wanna hang out. The cats don't talk back.
Anyways enough about genital fatigue...
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