my sister just canceled her nose job because she thought it would hurt too much
It'll hurt less than being alone
Hmm. I hear gunshots, car horns blaring, hear drunk white people screaming, and see about fifty status updates pertaining to the hawks. I guess they won.
he climbed up to our party on the 2nd floor balcony and then pulled a glass mug and a beer from his knapsack. these freshmen are intense
it was not a walk of shame, it was a ferry ride of shame, and i'm not ashamed, so technically it was just an early morning ferry ride. wearing yesterday's clothing
and semen
You could have chosen coming to fuck me over getting too hammered to drive. But you made your bed, and now you get to jack off alone in it.
I rode a bull tonight, There is absolutely no reason my dick is not in some chicks mouth
Caught in the act of lying. Lipstick literally all over his dick. He tried to make some story about darkwing duck or some shit but failed to realize he is a complete moron.
Kurt said to text you and encourage you to come out tonight. Encourage you with my rack.
I think if wine wasn't a thing I'd give up on life.
I came home wearing somebody's thong. If you're missing one message me privately.
My dad told me to bring weed to easter Sunday dinner..
I'm so hung over that I just tried to send you a screen shot of the cracked screen on my phone.
how should I feel if a guy kept complimenting my bangs while I was giving him a blowjob?
there is a guy with a glowstick staff outside my house
Have you ever realized how weird it is to think that you've fucked someone and don't know what their handwriting looks like?
Randomize
