I want to make Jon&Kate babies with him. Not in quantity, but in percentage asian.
Every time I find out someone else from high school got pregnant accidentally, I want to declare victory over them.
turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
His texts read Like a 15 year olds diary.
The djing cat is back again. I think he just makes appearances when im shit drunk just to fuck with my mind.
His penis without viagra is what breaks my heart.
if creating a fake 8 year old brother, who lives with me and has had mono for the past month, to explain why I have ignored my group project members is wrong, then I... well then I'm probably going to hell
That works. I won't care. I'll be a mermaid. Mermaids don't give a fuck.
Especially drunk mermaids.
Can't decide if this guy is hot or if I'm just bored.
Sex is clearly the solution either way.
I think someone cast a spell on the lazy stoner rich boy stereotype and it came to life and called me.
It has now been 10 days since we last saw Sebastians penis
Dude, you ever snap awake on the toilet at work with that panicked, "How long have I been here?!" feeling??
we just got sex advice from a midget. You better fucking get here.
sober me is not impressed with the quality of people that drunk me gives our phone number to
I'm a teacher who's always telling kids about the importance of due diligence, yet I'm eating an avocado out of a coffee filter because I'm too lazy to wash dishes
Randomize
