wake up i wanna do it froggy style
I was so high i believed someone when they told me le moyne beat syracuse
I just told someone i was in "addition and subtraction 160".......and they believed me.
girl next to me is signing up for tough love. definitely getting laid.
I'm sitting the next couple hours out. Puking in a potted plant really put shit into perspective for me.
someone needs to make a hangover cure that isn't cocaine.
There's always time for handjobs
Frozen pudding on a popsicle stick. Bill Cosby would be so proud of drunk me.
Her fortune said that she will soon be free. She's taking her bra off at the table.
so hungover. i just puked at the sight of the beer emoticon you sent me.
But for real, I had the best sex of my life on that bunk bed
GOD DAMMIT TARYN WHY DO WE ALWAYS HAVE TO ROB PLACES IN OUR FUTURE PLANS?!
I just got high off one hit and the. Spent 20 minutes inspecting the gasket of our refridgerator and researching ways to replace it
He didn't get how "starting a flash flood in my thunderhole" was a sexy euphemism. Deal breaker.
I woke up with jello shots in pant pockets so I must've had fun
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