i wish i could watch tv and lissten to music at the same time...but still understand both
i think otters can do that
i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
So what if i ate it off the ground. Its like i found a five dollar bill just laying there, in burrito form.
Birthday Coupon: This text is good for alteast 3 hours of Birthday Sex. Redeamable any time, anywhere, and any style.
Never again will we have slut saturday. Never.
That haircut screams I'm 35 but I still eat pussy.
Just come back with most of your limbs...and your dick. Please and thank you
I just ate a bag of doritos while taking a shower. I can now officially do anything
It took him an hour to realize I wasn't this "Sarah" girl, and by then he was already crying and eating pizza rolls.
I'm not sure drinking my way through west nile virus is the best idea. Oh well, already committed to that plan.
He broke into my house just to tell me the door was locked.
It doesn't feel like real life when you open your hotel room door and the first person you see is wearing a rabbit costume. I'm too hungover for this.
Well I can cross 'get my dick slathered in coconut oil while watching the bob's burgers porn parody' off my bucket list.
He once bought a dildo and put fifty dollars and a happy anniversary note in the battery compartment I gotta lock him down while hes available
College is really paying off. I am gonna be a great teacher. I just made a grading sheet for weed. This shit got an A.
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