I Once took so much Ecstacy that I tried to hug a fire.
This guy behind me is answering all of her questions. I may give him a lapdance to take my next test for me
Just accidentally pinched my dick between two 50 pound dumbbells while doing shoulder shrugs. God hates me.
Her boobs are too amazing to be looking at my dick. I'm even ashamed.
we made out inside of a kiddie slide for about 20 mins. it was the sexiest, most suffocating experience I've ever had
the elusive kegmastree, who's mystery is only exceeded by it's power
I keep hearing lesbian porn and I'm the only one home. I don't think this is healthy
Am I undercharging for one hour of sex per essay? I need a serious business answer.
He's def the type to chop us into bits whilst screaming "NAPA BITCH". AKA my type
Kriste-san. Brian-sensai going to sleepy times acturry. Kriste-grasshopper will spend fun-fun times with Brian-sensai and glorious redbox movie tomorrow yes?
Most creative movie date proposition... ever.
I owe a guy a shoe because I threw it over a fence. That is all.
Why do I even exist?
Finals week game: One shot for every psychological trauma I've been through that I have to explain in detail. Man I hate my major sometimes.
WHO DOES THAT ON A TUESDAY? This is not a Drake joke, the girl doesn't turn up OR down. She doesn't do anything.
I got laid two nights in a row
And none for Gretchen Wieners...
Almost ran out to the street bowl in hand when I hear the ice cream truck pull up outside.
Everything about that text makes me proud to be your sister.
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