Charged a drink to your name last night. Thanks for the whiskey
I was high as a kite when I got pulled over by a cop and he asked me for my ID and if I had been smoking weed, I said no and gave him my debit card.
We just picked up about 540 lbs of women....
he had a TATTOO on his FACE. a tattoo on your face basically says "i've gone as far in society as i'd like to."
Give me a few hours to remember what being sober feels like.
He compared my vagina to the first time he tried cocaine
There was a reason that "Throat Warrior 2011" was written on my martini glass. He said my title was undisputed.
THEY'RE. IN. YOUR. BED. THEY RANDOMLY SHOW UP. AND GET IN YOUR BED.
Oh and probably wearing a life jacket instead of clothes didn't help things either
when we went to bed he asked me to hold his penis so he knew i was there for him
I can feel my ovaries exploding thinking about them.
Instead of more alcohol, I decided to drink tea. Lets slow clap it out for me
if i do community service solely to impress a guy, everyone wins, right?
except your soul
I do not love him. There is no love. Only sex and meatloaf.
Alcohol and IMDB don't always mix with 100% accuracy
Randomize
