do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
i just saw a woman using her birth control packet as a wallet.
They normally just get fucked up and see who can hold their hand on the exhaust the longest. It's great
Still can't decide which I'm more disappointed about: the blow job I gave him or the donuts I ate after.
According to this USDA thing I just read, I should either get upper respiratory issues or begin to bleed from my nose and mouth.
Hey, remember when Hot Stuff played in the back of the ambulance? Or no, cause of your concussion...
It's going to be weird as hell when you have kids. I'll meet them and think "Hi, Did you know that I was almost your dad?"
Drunk and alone at a magic show is what my life has become without you
Ive done some fucked up shit, but last night was the first I have Poured milk on anothers mans face in the shower.
if i don't get grease into my system pronto i will undoubtedly die
My Sundays are fucking awful. Can't get a blow job.....can't get a win.
The exact people you expect to find at a bar at 2pm are here. Come visit. We'd really like the company.
My sister just poured me a dbl Ciroc on the rocks and said "the ice makes it festive." Honestly what a role model.
just had a woman ask me to donate my eggs so that her baby could look like me. don't know whether to get a restraining order or be flattered. thoughts?
THAT'S MY GIRL
KICKING BUT AND GETTING PEOPLE INTOXICATED
Randomize
