I've heard semen is good for your skin though, so that pimple on my chin should clear right up.
i was just texting to let you know that my facebook chat is working again so you can talk to me more. please talk to me more.
is it sad that whenever i need to spell "independent" i still sing that one rap song?
Annd you probably wouldn't of fallen down the stairs if you didn't insist on taking 'finale shots'
Oh my god I'm so bored. The virgin is so disinteresting when I'm not trying to cum on her face.
I feel like it'll be a success as long as she doesn't end up dead in a ditch. There has to be a line somewhere.
He ate me out in the forest at that park we used to hit my bong in highschool again, somehow this isn't what I pictured being 25 would be like
I always ask when they're due. It's the nicest way for me to let her know the rest of the world can tell she's putting on weight too
It looks like I promised him my virginity, in spanish. What the hell did you give me?
Last time Jon threw a party I woke up on my porch, no shirt but 4 bras on, and "make better life choices" written on my stomach in sharpie
Turns out floaties are a great thing after a couple bottles of vodka
body shots are frowned upon at family weddings. i'll keep that in mind next time. maybe.
My sobriety has gotten out of control. I think I need an intervention.
I had to fake it. He was punching my vagina like it owed him money and enough was enough.
i believe in u and ur pee
Randomize
