i have i love cock written on my hand and a vagina drawn on my arm and i just finished eating breakfast with the whole fam for mothers day
ahah at least you got away with it
nope...my gran was the one who informed me
so that girl updated her facebook status as "had the worst night ever last night"
um, i could be wrong but i think it might've had something to do with mark drunkenly screaming about her unibrow right in front of her
When I asked if she spit or swallow she replied "I never learned how to spit"
I have a running excel spreadsheet detailing the number of shots in a night and subsequent ability to masturbate
i swear to god. if they dont have practically DTF written on their foreheads, or a glowstick in their hands, strictly no entry.
She texted me shhh....im drunk, secret booty call...how could i say no?
You can cross "give someone a blow job while playing Colors of the Wind" off my bucket list.
Two hot shots of tequila for breakfast? Yeah today is gonna be a shit show
Correct me if I'm wrong, but did you let me pee in the grass while barking? And also, how many of you have videos?
You drunkenly hook up with 5 people in one night and suddenly everyone tries to party with you.
I met his dad. Turns out he was a one nighter from the nurses conference in Vegas. Not sure how to handle this one.
Clearly, you already have. Both of them.
so, in conclusion, I think his gf found out about the booty pics
Is there anything more American than getting day drunk and watching Hulk Hogan promos?
Yea. You locked yourself outside naked with nothing but running shoes and claimed it was a "parent trap thing."
This pandemic, it’s making everyone horny. I’ve got dick stashed all over town
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