Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
I just remembered that he had fake blood all over his face last night. I woke up with it all over my dick. He was 50. Please don't judge me.
I drink to make the karaoke go away.
It's 1:26 and I have already found 5 fruit flies between 3 separate glasses of wine. This is supposed to be a summer problem. Fucking global warming.
I definitely think you should enjoy one last spring break being a sorostitute before you get serious and settle down with price charming. I mean hes not going to be there any way. he can wait a week.
At first it will make you think "how is this physically possible?" and then it will ruin an entire food group for you.
Somehow I just turned an entire McDonald's bag upside down in my car and not a single fry fell out. The Lord really does work in mysterious ways.
I haven't been single on my birthday for 7 years. If you don't get me laid tonight, your best friend/wing woman status will be revoked.
we finally found him at 2 am. he was 3 miles from the house and tried running into the lake when he saw us pull up. i don't think he'll be taking ecstacy again any time soon.
good morning. i just did a walk of shame in front of his grandmother.
how goes living off caffiene and alcohol?
i may have recently shit my pants. on two separate occasions.
When I told the bartender it was my 21st birthday, he looked at me all pissed and said "But you've been drinking here as 21 for the past 2 years.." How do you THINK the night went?
So I take it free shots were a no after that?
before i went to bed i wrote myself a note that says 'i feel all swirly'
her and her boyfriend kept giving me coke ad kissing me talking about my awesome boobs
dont know what thebfuxk is in rhat shit, but dont lemme have antmore
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