i need gas-x and some way to take back every single thing i did last night.
Hypothetical question: If I threw up in the dishwasher do I clean it up or just turn it on? :(
shes a baton twirler.. i expected her to be better with her hands.
Sitting on the floor in my kitchen eating taquitos. Being this drunk the next day has lost its allure post graduation.
As a matter of fact you told me i fulfilled your "woodshop teacher fantasy"
He just said "fuck you" to the bowl he's eating things out of
She's cheated on every boyfriend she's ever had with the same guy. She's like a slutty yo-yo.
What time did you start drinking?
Maybe.
Maybe isn't a time...
THE BIG GAY MAD HATTER IS HERE AND HE HAS DRUGS IN HIS PANTS FOR YOU. COME DOWNSTAIRS BITCHEZZZZ
I have got to stop letting people hang ornaments from my nipple ring.
Tis the season.
You should have. Partying with 60 year olds and batman is so much better than partying with bitches our age.
i need to start buying Plan B in bulk and leaving them at the door. I'm really sick of walking to CVS with my one-nighters
I just tried to brush my hair with a can opener. Who gave you that brownie
And I made some girl take out the trash, load and unload the dishwasher, swifter, and clean the counters. So don't act like I don't do anything.
and that's when you shouted "ahh motherland" as you streaked down hall 4B
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