i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
it really sends the message that i like to impregnate mortal women and have them birth fantastic half man-half god infants.
You saying I have a drinkingg problem is like saying Superman has a flying problem.
you left a note on your car that said " please dont tow, im to drunk to drive. safety first!"
I wish i could 80s montage me losing weight
youre just mad because i have donuts and im beautiful
I'm pretty sure I have enough material at this point to start a blog called Guys I've Banged in Pictures together. Why does this keep happening to me!
We're like adult pinky and the brain when they decided that taking over the world is unrealistic so they aim lower by trying to get drunk every day.
And the cops are back. At least my pants are on this time
I never thought the most recent texts on my phone would be with ASAP ferg and my ex...
Please come collect your inebriated significant other. He just sleep-farted and scared my cats. Please hurry.
I think I need to see a chiropractor after giving that blow job
I basically gave Miranda rights to the guy I hooked up with, jus so we were all clear what was happening
Yeah I don't think your wife thinks it's a good thing that you're fucking your cousin.
They are like the regular squirrels and we are flying squirrels
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