Omg I def was not. I wasn't that drunk. I showed that I stuff my bra but I didn't whip my tit out.
You can't motorboat a personality
I mean i might have to drop this class tomorrow. I just walked into a midterm
He's been dead since March and more people write on his wall than mine.
we talked about european history as he fucked me from behind in the shower... i think it was a success
I just did the nutritional comparison between 2% milk and Bud Light Lime.. the beer had less calories, less carbs, and less fat. It's not looking good for milk in my life anymore
hr gave me pretxwk salad and a doubke shot of grey goose. i approve! tou guys are a beautidil couple.
Is putting "Tonight I'm Fucking You" on my date playlist too forward?
I just had a fifteen minute conversation with a Raccoon by the garbage bin. I was feeding it chex mix.
Me and two guys that I made Eskimo bros all soberly slept together in my bed
I'm high and reading a Wikipedia article on circumcision procedure. Help.
Don't pretend you don't want to dance on the edge of overdose all three nights
Apparently I missed the "You may have to jack off a horse" part of the application.
I'm mainly pissed because I shaved fucking EVERYTHING for this. WITH SHAVING CREAM. Men do not appreciate how rarely that happens.
I just thought that if your brother was ever going to invite me over again, he probably shouldn't catch me fucking you in his bathroom.
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