"You squeeze, we tiip biiiiiig" JB
he was so excited that he found the elusive clitoris. i was like look christopher colombus, just because you found it doesnt mean you knew what to do with it
Sacagawea was the original milf.
I would say a second date is not looking likely, I acciedentally bit his penis. it's still bleeding 43 minutes later.
I have fifteen cents in cash and 80 cents in the bank. BUT I have weed.
the problem with open bar is i never know what to get
did you really just start a sentence with "the problem with open bar is..."
She just ended a sentence with "and he doesn't even mind my herpes..."
whatever happens this semester dont let me be that girl yacking in the urinal. again.
I doubt were getting our security deposit back... the toilet just fell off the wall
All I'm saying is that your next houseguest had better not barge in on me in the shower demanding I wash the stolen dye from his hair. I'm not doing that a second time.
Most men with as many freckles as you aren't vagina magnets. You are an exception to your kind.
It's a drunk scavenger hunt.
Everything on the list counts for double points if done naked.
The only times girls talk to me at clubs is when they're asking if I'm okay when I'm puking outside. Or if it's a tranny
You've slept with someone mentioned in the NY Times, that officially makes you the most famous person I know.
You know, normal sex stuff involves shitting your pants. If you do it right.
Randomize