I'm watching harry potter...good thing I already know I'm gay
just come out here and I will go home with you...
remember tomorrow: you burned the inside of your nose with incense. it hurt.
This last weekend single handedly took me off the liver transplant list
Reason #57 I am going to fail the bar... it's Tuesday and i'm drunk at Toy Story 3.
he just kept saying "come on iron man, you can do this!" to himself the whole time..
the room spins SO much faster in panama
Ya these assholes wanted to like sit around and eat cupcakes and watch the notebook. I was like fuck you, I want to go make some people uncomfortable in public.
Just bought the plane tickets. Light headed. Blood rush to clit oh god blue clit. Mayday mayday vagina down!
Hi you snuggled with me in my bed in a maid outfit
I got her number but I don't think I'll be able to smash, I was pretending to be British AND I forgot her name
I just paid my school fees like a real adult who doesn't get accidentally drunk on a Tuesday night
Dick very happy bro
Does anyone remember last night? Because I still don't know why I now own a goldfish and a ceiling fan made of pizza?
he literally walked in took a shit and left ringing the 'great service' bell on the way out.
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