She rubs her butt on the bed & then she growls..
At least he could have found a MILF, she's a dbl bagger. No wonder he goes to counseling.
Yeah..you can't spell Prozac without Zac(h).
A slipped finger up the butt isn't the end of the world
Some drunk couple just made out on the sidewalk and it reminded me some sweet moments we have shared...
yeah...i noticed he pets people when he's drunk. It's odd.
the bathroom floor of the diner looks a lot different when you're not rolling around and puking on it.
The only way i can get arrested is public drunkenness or defacing a national monument. Trust me, i have already looked it up.
I know what you meant. If you want babies in time for your birthday, we gonna need either a time machine or a ski mask.
It's 10:15 on a Wednesday night and my dick is covered in pop rocks. How's your Wednesday going?
and Katie got too high with the tow truck driver and wants to go home
Well, I was asked to leave the Waffle House for "being to physical" so I think that option is off the table
So, no matter what happens today, hold on to this. At least you're not naked under your ex husband's trench coat being stopped by the police who also work with your ex husband. Long story. Actually, not a long story. That's it.
I've spent so much time on tinder lately I just tried to left swipe an instagram photo of my neighbor
Thanks for letting me cross "getting high at park with children" off my bucket list
I am so horny. It's like all the stress of finals week has relocated to my vagina.
Randomize
