Yea went to the bars and he called me 2 hours later with random people saying he is at a place that i don't think exists
MRIs the morning after St. Patty's Day was a poor choice.
Just found out for my occult lit class (history of cults) final project is making a spellbook. Hello last term of college.
We shouldn"t be alone together
you didn"t say that yesterday
you weren't married yesterday
just drew up plans to mow my front lawn into the American flag for world cup. that high and patriotic.
he just left. I blew him in my kitchen while my parents slept down the hall. Welcome back home!
She got a text from her mom saying "you better not sleep with him, we all know how he is". IV ONLY BEEN HERE A WEEK
ride him like a prized pony all the way to orgasm town.
You obviously dont comprehend the level of insane i operate at
Side note: THE ORIGINAL LION KING IS COMING THE MOVIES AGAIN--3D STYLE. We need to find shrooms.
I just don't know about this life anymore. Quite frankly I think I belong up there in the great blue, lounging on a cloud sippin tea with Jesus
So I totally just used margarita salt for a body scrub.
I decided to let him keep the rest of my good weed as an "I'm sorry for being a drunk ass ho" consolation prize.
I stood in my living room with two beers in my hand asking these said beers if they were going to drink each other. I then insisted that I would drink them and chugged both. Happy Halloween.
I just chased my hot mailman down the street to ask him out and now I am 98% positive he gave me a fake number.
Randomize
