I feel like ignoring a facebook event is a lot like a pocket-veto. The only difference is instead of opposing legislation, I don't want to go to your sketchy party.
Every time I hang out with your gay friend, I have to make a checklist of words to look up when I get home. First Google of the night? "Power bottom."
It was kinda bitchy last night when i brought up my pregnancy scare and you said "shotty playing with it"
just put a funnel in my mouth and pour the tequila in with a little emergen-c
Theres someone in the car behind me eating corn on the cob & talking on the phone
It's offcial there's a Bobby Light radio station on pandora.
Reading in my econ of energy textbook about the US' largest oil spill from the 1990's.. guess i can't sell this one back either
I think your going to be the cause of an awesome death
Cops said there's a crazy dude with a mask in my neighborhood. Don't get stabbed.
If he was naked that was me.
Thanks for letting me use your ID, there's $120 along with your ID in the mail to cover the Urinating in public fine I got last night....sorry
I found my spirit animal in the shower. It's a sloth/bear that lives in my chest.
Last thing I remember was a hand in the pants. Then I woke up next to a full beer and a McDouble, which I promptly had for breakfast.
The cop that got shot in the dick is here, let the entertainment begin.
I know you're on a date and I should leave you alone but about twenty minutes ago I realized I haven't been spanked in years so if you're still looking for a birthday present, you know, consider it.
This is either the best idea i've ever had or the worst. stay tuned.
Randomize
