drug dealer added me on facebook, win ?
omg no way im finding him!
he has no pics of his face, and im always drunk so i cant remember if hes cute or not, but he told me im in his phone as "party girl" which is fitting i guess cause im dragging my hungover ass to buy preggo tests, and i had to get the cheap ones cause i blew all my cash on coke.
I'm so fucking pissed that I wasted my shooting star wish on him and his little penis.
You wanted to speak to the manager of mcdonalds as to why a "bag of cheeseburgers" isn't a menu option.
I am pretty sure I told him the clouds were earth's purest filtration system and that snow was the rarest and most delicious water in the world. My lips are burning because we ate so much.
my roommate just showed up covered in dirt, drunk....with a whole ice cream cake that says "it's a girl".
Just think, this time last Cinco de Mayo you were holding me up and finding me passed out in the yard of that house.
Last time I stayed at my moms my fucking car got set on fire sooo maybe I should think this through.
I feel like we had some profound moment last night, but I can't really recall much past your ass turning up the volume on the radio.
P.S. The slutty NASCAR driver costume will be saved and used year round for role play.
So, sleeping with all of my Vicodin in my bra because I knew she'd be searching my room for drugs tonight. I'LL SHOW HER.
I just listened to "Eye of the Tiger" and did 5 shots to prep going over to see him.
Whoever put salsa in the kiddie pool.....your an ass. Fuck you.
There is a fake eye lash glued to one of my balls.
With my son watching me, I pulled down my pants and shit in her trash can.
Oh fuck, I'm officially a cougar..he's got the same name as my grandson
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