No matter how fun it seemed the night before you will always regret taking those pictures, you will always regret eating as much as you did, but you will never regret the great lengths you had to got to get those bruises.
i'm pretty sure i lost all sex appeal when he caught me peeing in his bushes
I'm not entirely sure what we did is legal in the U.S., but I know that couple wont be the same
I was running around taking people's drinks at the bar and just dumping it into my Gatorade bottle screaming roofies.
Believe it or not, that's part of the whole 'best friend' thing. It's not just yelling at me for making you leave the club early or taking the couch bc I'm doing sex while you're doing bjs.
It's one of those mornings where you wake up and want to go to church for the first time in ten years. THAT shameful.
i finally decided to cut him off after he he looked me dead in the eyes and said "how have i been inside you for the past twenty minutes when my pants are still on?"
I'm not a horrible person, I just see what everyone chooses to politely ignore.. And occasionally say it aloud whilst deeply intoxicated.
No, that was the night I helicoptered my dick to oncoming traffic. Im talking about the night I ran naked down the street.
She apologized again the next day. I said it was pee under the bridge
Munching saltines, sippin Gatorade, and trying not to get eaten by this small horse
He makes me want to cheat on my other 3 boyfriends..
I think I fell in love last night
That guy had a face tattoo and was named Cheddar. Please tell me you’re kidding.
Our livers are going to hate us.
It's okay, they're regenerative. God wanted this.
His penis is average but his stamina is amazing!!! I didn’t know I had that many orgasms in my body!!!!
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