So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
alex threw up in my bong. i'm going to call it a night.
The only thing I can remember you saying is "I won't cut pizza like this when I'm older."
Are you sighing at your phone and judging me right now?
It was the best present I've gotten since I was 5 and I got a fucking easy bake oven. I'm not pregnant for realsies. Celebratory party at the house tonight. Invite all the nice dicks you know.
The fact that he just came out makes his Lent commitment to give up gay sex so much more meaningful now.
Do what? I was just saying that at some point there's a chance I'll have a boner. Think of it like a guessing game. "Does he have one now?"
I enjoy it and I rock at it. I wish there were a respectable way to make giving blow jobs a career.
I was drunk while I accepted my job offer. Here's to growing up.
I'm turning into an adult here.
Adults touch each other's special zones.
I should not be allowed to reproduce. The world doesn't need my sarcastic asshole demon spawn in child form
All my female reproductive organs were screaming HELL YES last night.
I got so drunk I thought my tennis court was a corn field so I laid in it and ate pizza
Why would you trust me with ANYTHING!!!???
I think I gave a random lady a dildo
Again?!
Randomize
