Dork........ .......... .. . ...... ........... .. . ... ...... .. . .... ..... .. .... ... .......... .... . . ..... Yeah its morse code, no big deal
UPDATE: In a passionate fit of self love, I brought myself to orgasm under the moon on my 7th floor balcony, ejaculating between the rungs towards the ground.
Unfortunately, I did not realize that most of it would end up on the balcony below mine.
At least you don't cum in color.
Note to self: when drunk try to remember that ctrl, alt and dance doesnt exist on a keyboard.
i love how he claims to not know english but when i ask him to come over and fuck me he's all of a sudden fluent
i just want to attach a dildo to the ceiling and ride it like a gay spiderman.
He showed up at my house, drunk, proclaiming that he needed to fuck me...my dad let him in
My body is like , remember when you wouldn't let me puke last night? Good luck at work fucker.
Unless you can blow me and bake me a pie at the same time, im not impressed.
My genitals don't want beer. They want to not feel like they wandered into a hornet's nest.
He should know he can't successfully wrestle in pudding fully clothed. Amateur.
And then the templeton police were like "oh I remember her, yeah the blue haired girl that we picked up cause she was passed out drunk on the side of the road"
He referred to his penis as "The Purple Headed Yogurt Slinger." I'm both disgusted and turned on
Is it weird that I have your number saved in my phone as baby Jesus?
you know your booty call is really trying when he offers to pay the toll for the bridge you have to cross to get to his house
I think I fell in love last night
That guy had a face tattoo and was named Cheddar. Please tell me you’re kidding.
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