help me. he won't leave me alone. he just licked my ear and he's so drunk. get him off me. we're in the closet. help.
like i told you yesterday: virgins, blood, my name. do it.
She's holding my hand. I'm going to kill myself.
we just ha sex. he lasted two minutes. i told him to leave because i had class
isnt today saturday?
I'm like a wolly mammoth down there. what do I tell him?
Woke up on the kitchen floor cuddling with the dummy we made of you. Hope your internship is going well.
Okay, we really need to start training for the St Pattys parade. 48 hours of green beer won't end well if we don't prep ourselves. 2 week bender starts now
This might be the most awkward night of my life. And I had someone pee on me once.
So basically he tried to get out of the car and crawl on the highway with the broken leg because he didn't want to go to the hospital. It was not a good time...then we got pizza though.
Lots of rum and cokes. Bartender wore my underwear on his head. Lost my keys. Accidentily started a fight. DC is going to kill me
Tried to ride the mechanical bull pants less, got punched for making out with some lesbians wife, and you tipped the bartender with a can of skoal.
I regret nothing
No, your dick is problems. Anyone you fuck haunts us for the rest of the semester. If you need to get laid, I'll personally drive you out of state.
My ultimate goal is to get laid wearing a horse mask... That would be awesome on all possible levels
Like what did he say to his host family? The girl I causally sleep with on the weekends is coming over?! And they thought "well lets feed her dinner"
A dick pic is not a proper way to say I'm sorry
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