you know that annoying kid in my psych class? accidentally hit him in the face with a door today. perfect end to the semester.
Could you explain why there is an Australian passport in your toilet?
theres gunna be a new season of 16 and pregnant on mtv...WHERE DO THEY KEEP FINDING THESE IGNORANT PREGNANT GIRLS
You puked in the drive thru of Taco Bell. You puked as it was being handed to me. You managed to yell out "FIRE SAUCE" in between hurls.
The fact that I pulled something plastic out of my mouth after taking that shot is starting to concern me.
Cops came. Forced us to take the "Honk and We'll Drink" and the "Free Shots to Father's of Freshman Daughters" signs down. Before we did, someone honked and the cop said, "Aren't you gonna drink?" They then told us to move the party inside by ten.
God she is annoying. I am only keeping her around on fb because I want to see if her baby comes out looking like an alien or not.
He showed up in booty shorts and no shirt and said dont laugh dont ask questions and give me a fucking final and no one in class said anything we just sat there speehless
Why does 2015 have to start with so many regrets?
I made out with a guy so that I could get ahead in the bathroom line, totally acceptable
I'm to childless and to single to be asking myself why I'm so sticky
Goal: finish my bio assignment before the Xanax kicks in.
Alan said you can come over and eat me out anytime you want, as long as we give him enough notice to hide in the closet before we arrive
This is a hot dog holiday. I intend to do my part for the processed meat workers of this great union.
And tell your penis that we can hang out tonight for sure.
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