We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
It's not a real calculator it's a math calculator
dude last night I threw my weed into my back yard. there is now a foot of snow. after an hour I found my weed. if I put that effort into school, i'd have a 4.0.
Just watched a fat girl on a scooter run into the back of a bus head first
You are the luckiest man alive
Sunday is a myth, I refuse to believe that I waste an entire day unable to function after a night of drinking.
I have a meeting at work in an hour, I'm so hungover going outside is NOT happening there are roads and shit I'll totally get myself killed.
Puuuub goooolf. Being trashed at 830 never felt so right
Dude what hole are you on?....and its 9:15
hole5. 2 under par. irish nachos
theres a new barista at starbuck holy fuck she's hot
i want to face-plant into her vagina
It's kind of like, standing in a garage and pretending you're a car. Except you're naked.
To the point, I hope I remember where to put my dick when I finally get laid again
You have a 50 50 chance
FUCK WHALES
We never leave a bad bitch behind. its a party foul..we'll find you somehow
that is our friendship pylon, do not lose it
fuck you.
DO NOT LOSE IT
just discovered a semi frightening wound on the side of my head that must have happened last night. if i die of a brain aneurysm, make sure they put "sorry for partying" on my gravestone.
it's your last night here, let's make it one we may or may not remember.
Randomize
