Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
just saw a girl throwing up in a taco bell nacho cantainor going 60 down the highway
Hey its the Filipino guy from last night. I just wanted to say sorry my friend bled all over your driveway. Great party though.
He sang nursery rhymes to my vagina to get me to have sex with him..
You tried telling the RA that girl you brought home was your mom...
Her parents walked in on us. So for my birthday they bought me a blow-up doll with their daughters face on it. I don't know what to think right now.
underwater hpnotiq shots? sure why not.
I think if it were a part of everyone's daily routine, the world would be happier. International Finger Yourself While Bathing Day.
i've eaten like 19 popsicles... what the fuck have you done today?
So never has there been a greater Valentine's Day gift than you actually putting a new roll of toilet paper on for me after using the old roll up! You didn't even use the new roll. You clearly put that on from a gentleman's standpoint vs. a selfish standpoint. I love you!!!!
It's like weed even makes my glasses better. Everything is so bright and clear and beautiful!
I mean jail does seem alright, all the free broth you can eat.
I FINALLY GET TO MASTURBATE. SO EXCITED.
All of my Tinder matches have neck tattoos. It's like God wants me to go to jail again.
When Dad gets to your house, ask him about the sound of anal beads. Happy Thanksgiving!
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