fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
HE had a tribal tattoo tramp stamp, jasmine.
He told me I couldn't drink an unopened bottle of water he had in his room because that was his emergency bong water
forced to watch US open for father's day. only perk is discovering dustin johnson...reeeeally hoping that this golf sex addiction thing is contagious
Dont worry about the blood on the pillow. its from my face.
My picture of a beer can in a McDonalds cup full of ice got more likes than my relationship with her. Is beer THAT much better than monogamy?
You wore a man's plastic top hat last night.
No I didn't. Whiskey did.
Using the random money I found in my bra from Halloween to pay to print my bio notes. I only brought a debit to the bar. College win.
I would just like to point out that someone I had sex with drove me so I could have sex with you. I deserve some type of "most loyal booty call ever" award.
Drugs are gluten free tho, right?
That's why my New Years resolution was no more blondes. They're all bad news
I'm shaving my vagina to the lion king soundtrack. How's your 9am?
SOS... STANDING IN THE BAR NEXT TO MY BF AND THE GUY WHO I HOOKED UP WITH ON CHRISTMAS DAY..
Youre a wreck. Youll be in your dorm weeping to project runway covered in pizza sauce and smelling of stale beer
yeah true but how easily can you rip a scrotum
Randomize
