just read twilight to her over the phone, while in the bathtub, candlelight...i'd love to say no homo but that was so gay.
Yeah. We was talkin. Its ok. My bed is too filled with pam for sex. Its like a slip and slide of butter product.
In retrospect, getting to second base BEFORE anal wouldve been a good idea
she's using motion activated glade air fresheners as some sort of early warning system
I woke him up and he was mumbling something about it being moist, or he peed himself but it was okay.
It's annoying. I only date people who are 6 foot 3, drug dealers, or 2 years older than me.
They wouldn't let me hang out the sun roof and sing apple bottom jeans in the drive thru of hardee's i think i no longer like these ppl
We took it as we must go to waffle house or else we will upset the gods.
There was an unopened condom by my car when I went to pick it up this morning. Someone may have fucked on the hood of my car last night. Don't think it was me but I can't rule it out 100%.
He crawled outside into the bushes to throw up. He's just laying there now but he says he'll be ready to come home if we just give him five
Remember that mom/daughter stripper team? Well i just met the ex husband/father in AA. WOW!!!! WOW....
he's a fucking beast. people that don't even know him have started calling him "puke and raleigh"
wait i saw you last night?
we found you ass naked on the couch covered in pillows.
I’ll always remember that day you sent me that random nude on accident lmao changed my life
THERE IS WATER LITERALLY DRIPPING OFF OF THE CHANDELIER. I OFFICIALLY HAVE THE WORLD'S WORST RAINFALL SHOWER HEAD.
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