I like you better when you drink
I like you better when I drink too
I just found out why they dont make table-dance tables out of glass.
Well at one point you put icyhot on your feet because you lost your shoes and it was snowing outside.
We're friends. And when I drunkenly send u a pic of my left testicle i would appreciate a response.
I have a spoon shaped bruise on my ass...
I've decided to be proactive and make a sex playlist on my phone to avoid any awkward moments in my upcoming slutty summer
But don't worry I didn't actually get stitches, although according to the health center I probably should have
my liver gets a handicap on account of the whole being diseased thing
hungover at the ER to get half my contact removed from behind my eye. Not the start to the weekend I was hopin for
That doesn't mean I'm a slut. Unless McFlurries are involved.
I will rub McFlurries all over you.
If you ever wanna get tagged teamed, army guys are pretty open to it. Write that down for future reference.
It's disgusting. He breathes through his mouth and just sounds fat. Plus he chews all loud and shit.
I apologize for there being a shopping cart in the living room. I don't know how why or where i got it.
my roommates are pretty pissed at me. they sent me out for ice and i came back with a kitten.
I think my brain is throwing up inside my head. How do you live like this?
Randomize
