im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
batman just walked across the sidewalk
lay off the drugs
no for real he was wearing a cape
For the millionth time in his career, Brett Favre has screwed over the Vikings
I need to start giving them away because owning 20 dildos is never going to get me a boyfriend.
Is this a genuine concern or are you just high?
JUST BECAUSE I'M HIGH DOESN'T MEAN ITS NOT GENUINE CONCERN.
As far as figuring life out your talking to a guy that's alternating text messages between his baby mama and a drunk bitch I met tailgating. My best advice is don't worry about shit out of your control and always and I really mean ALWAYS wear a condom.
hanging out with you guys is like living the wikipedia entry for drugs...not sure i can handle that tonight.
I sexy timed too hard and there is an ass shaped piece of a ping pong table now missing bc of it. How am I allowed to leave the house without a helmet?
I think we should go through the tsa checkpoint with raging hardons when we go through LAX. I think we should pass out some viagra to everyone
I consented to having my finger branded. How was your night?
Note to self: Don't go home with a recent divorcee. Semen and tears.
I like how my motivation to lose weight is so I can wear a nude bikini and get covered in body paint for the tribal party. Priorities.
We popped the air mattress last night via sex and we just kept going but it feels like I have a bruise on every vertebrae
He wanted to watch a Charlie Brown thanksgiving. But I was like, fuck that, I'm a grown up. So we watched jumanji and I sucked his dick.
I must be really high or they really did just bring me a banana split instead of a burger
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