I think she just tried to waterboard me with her vagina.
to be honest..when i was little i used to think sharks can swim out of drains and eat people
you didnt have any toilet paper so I just took a shower
were trying to schedule when i can give him head in between classes.
eat the baked goods on the counter at your own risk... i made them while i was angry and drunk so they most likely have pubes in them
Tequila bombs in champagne seemed like a good idea at the time.
Do ex girlfriends even count for summer sexcapades. Seems like the damage had already been done
Victory lap
It was total unicorn galloping on a fucking rainbow awesome.
Alright whatever you say... But in the future when you really wish you had a dildo don't come crying to me about it.
I'm not letting you use my bathroom unsupervised anymore. You peed in the sink thinking it was a urinal...
I'm not sure how to explain it, but I feel like our penises have a connection. Like long lost brothers. We're not even gay.
Don't be the guy that has his dick out at work.
There is resin on and IN the refrigerator. Its even on the food. My god, what happens to you?
all i want in life is a shot and a cock is that too much to ask
It wasn't as awesome as they lead everyone to believe. No stripper. Ran out of booze. The chipmunk. He was real.
Randomize
