We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
Woke up with a retainer in my boxers and about ten chicks passed out around me. now I feel like something out of Cinderella, trying to find whose teeth fit in the glass retainer.
writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
he kept doing his monologue, "if a vagina could talk."
He doesn't care. He wouldn't care if my vag grew arms and smacked him in the face.
I mean technically the bite was both in my nose and on the outside of it. I thought I was going to need stitches or something.
Why was his mouth around your nose anyways?
It was just one of those nights, man.
I didn't mind you coming over, just I'm quite sure most booty calls don't involve a scavenger hunt...
You could be a whistle.. And just ask bitches if they want to blow you all night
She pinched my nipples out of nowhere as I was about to come... I think I found god
FUCK IM ABOUT TO GET A DICK PIC IN THE LIBRARY
I can hear the pillow talk now, "how many condoms did you bring? Good, put them all on,"
How did your walk of shame include a trip to Walmart and how did you bump into the cop that arrested you last night there?
and then she sorta stared at me like "holy shit" and I looked down and my dog was licking her ass
Ruff night.
i wish i could put you in a lil box, and keep you for when i need to be blown
don't worry, i'll dog sit again, the barking made the sex better, its like he was cheering for us, we were just THAT good.
Randomize
