we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
he was lying next to me and i saw him text "score" to someone.
do guys with small dicks even attempt to pursue romantic relationships?
We banged through her entire lady gaga playlist. I can die happy now
She slapped his drink out of his hand to get him to leave the bar while he and I were having an intense debate about the lyrics to mmmbop
Dear sober self: your car keys are in the glove compartment, your car is outside the church. I hope you're reading this from your own bed instead of someone else's.
i just remember doing it on a pile of clothes while i heard the muffled sound of his friend laughing. then i realized we were in a closet.
I whipped my shit out and she just stared at it with a mean face. It was like a face off in a heavyweight boxing fight.
This is going to be the time I got green body paint on Chris' ceiling all over again...
We got naked and peed in the garden. Something about bonding with our new house
WHY WERE YOU COOKING NAKED?
WHY WERE YOU SLEEPING ON MY COUCH?
Decided to make myself tequila gummy bears but got impatient and just drank the bowl of tequila.
Yes. Life would be much easier if we had penises & could do whatever the fuck we want.
Current status: so high that I'm unable to have coherent conversation with my mom, but still knew that when my dad said "shpritzy white stuff" I understood that he was trying to think of "whipped cream."
That text took me 10 minutes.
I just saw a cat, if i ate those mushrooms 15 minutes earlier i wouldn't have made it to the bar
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