hot girl, 5 o clock
do you know how to read a clock?
on the last problem of the exam i just drew a picture of a cat and left
Just had a serious bathroom emergency at walmart a and it appears that i ate a taco bell burrito wrapper last night
They had an entire room dedicated to passed out people. It was like a dogpile of cross faded toddlers drooling on each other.
She said she couldn't find my penis because my arm was in the way. That was my penis
Every man deserves at least one moment like that
Shotgunned a beer while taking a bath.
We were talking about threesomes when she went to say who she would have as her third. She did not get to finish her sentence because her bf already said my name.My sheer presence destroys relationships.
Let me put it this way - if I had a list of things I would like between my legs, she would rank below the cello I turned into firewood sophomore year.
I drunk-cried for all conjoined twins everywhere the other day.
Because her vagina is one of those illusive black holes that leads to a parallel universe where he is king and the sea is made of beer! That is why they are together!
i need some food
Holy shit I forgot about you stabbing him.
with great strapon comes great responsibility.
I woke up with a chicken in my yard
Do you not remember hopping the fence into a chicken coop and screaming "choot em'"like you were on swamp people?
No recollection, can you come help me shut this thing up
You took the glass microwave plate and said it was the closest thing to a frisbee, let me know how that works out for you
That 2-CB was ass.
You mean the asprin cut with pez?
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