I never noticed this but I have a beauty mark on my labia minora
Please tell me how you discovered this.
I was looking in the mirror snooping around
I am good. I dancing. Drinking but dancing fine.
She wants her shit back. Clearly she missed the cheaters-get-their-shit-ritually-burned clause.
You don't think I'm weird or immature right?
No I think it's cute we had sex on your Bob the Builder sheets
just woke up in a hotel room.. realizing its the hotel i work at.. lets see how this walk of shame turns out
There's a girl at 7-11 apologizing for her behavior and asking if she can get her shoes back.
Its midnight, he's burning water on the stove and keeps yelling at me and telling me not to burn myself.
Urine might work for jellyfish stings, but we found out it doesn't work well for nose bleeds...
I just got this text "hi this is Julie, I met you last night in the bathroom. You asked me to text you and remind you that you ate an entire lime, because you figured your sober self in the morning would be confused."
don't worry i just saved a song to my personal usb drive to give to the dj at the bar. he's playing old school jlo whether he likes it or not.
Is it bad of me to apply as a night shift counselor at a boys orphanage purely because of how laid that would get me at bars?
Had a crazy moment last night. Had to get up, run to bathroom, pop 3 Xanax, sit on bathroom floor and rock myself in fetal position. Not my best moment.
At this point it's more of an experiment to see how much actual bush growth is possible. See, being single can be both educational and surprisingly comfy!
Then he said,"I love you like a sister I like to have sex with."
sex on acid sucks though, i want to connect with the universe not your dick.
Randomize
