can you explain to me why you commented on every one of my profile pics with "tits and beer ftw" please and thank you.
how does Santa get into Hogwarts?
that's why you don't digest questionable powders from girls wearing tutus at a dirty club
She gave me a foot massage while her friend rode me. Your gf puked into the oscolating fan. How were our nites alike?
I may or may not have traded sexual favors for Disney on Ice tickets.
3 guesses about who had to still-drunkenly facilitate a fire drill at 2:40am because freshmen can't handle microwave popcorn.
I kinda wanna eat your hands right now.
Put down the everclear and go to bed.
He woke me up for a 10am bootycall. he was already drunk when he got here and when we were fucking, bagpipes started playing amazing grace outside of my window!! I love Boston on st. Patties day!!
Can we make a sex game out of monopoly somehow?
Thanks for letting me rent out your vagina rec room. I don't expect the security deposit back.
Yea. It was an issue. Great time though. Apparently I went through the coat check, put my coat on and forgot I had it so I tried to go through again and just didn't understand why thy weren't helping me. Dave coat checked his pants.
It's not so much that I'm giving her money because I threw up on her floor. It's more like I'm paying her to never ever mention it again.
I don't think you understand what laundry day means. I am wearing a swimsuit as underwear and my spanish club tshirt from junior high
Noted. Next time you want to get fried chicken and cocaine.
Ok. That just sounds baller.
These girls next to us are doing shots called bath salts. Sadly this is the classiest bar I've been to since i moved to PA
Randomize
