Eating a burrito bowl w/ queso sauce is about as cool as the first time you have sex w/ out a condom
he just said he was sorry he wasnt been able to come by more often coz things are really crazy with that girl
you mean his girlfriend
May or may not have just drunkenly opened my christmas presents. Greatly disappointed. Might break up sooner.
My vag wants to play a game of hungry hungry hippos with your cock.
You graduated two years ago... You can't keep using spring break as an excuse.
I woke up with like grass burns all over my body, i'm pretty sure i made out with someone under a bus. . . but i'm not sure
As a female I reserve the right to put my ipod in my cleavage because I have no pockets and not get judged by other girls right??
I NEED YOU HERE TO KNOCK THE MALT BEVERAGES OUT OF MY MOUTH
Can I bring some rope too? It's not too early for bondage talk, is it?
My team for a project is gonna have weekly meetings at a bar. yessss. they will do all the work while i thor hammer down beers.
Why were you not born a dude?
Because god wanted to level the playing field
Am I supposed to confront my 52-year-old boss/mother of 3 about the fact that we matched on Tinder?
There are no winners in a lube eating competition.
Its almost 1 am and u wanna get together and cry naked
OMFG. JUST WALKED IN ON A DUDE JERKING IT IN THE MCDONALDS BATHROOM
Stall or urinal?
Randomize