David Carradine died? Should I be thinking about this 10 min before my interview?
Haha just ref him when they ask a questin about kung fu which they will since ur Asian
oh great. the only prospects for sex left for the night are douchebag in the ed hardy shirt & frodo-looking ass
fuck it... i'll be the lord of his rings
She said she never had to courage to go fully shaved. Since when did shaving your snatch become courageous?
This beer is not sobering me up at all
Is this like a "I'm taking you out to dinner and treating you with respect" kind of date, or is this a "I'm gonna fill you with alcohol and cheese and stuff my dick in your anus" kind of date?
He's texting from midnight mass asking for nude pics. Baby Jesus is spinning in his manger as we speak
She said if her future children dont have blue eyes she wont love them
Well shit, I would've slept with him if I knew he was gonna be in the draft.
Hey, dude, is Kevin still passed out on your porch?
Yeah. I'm gonna go leave a pitcher of bloody mary next to him in case he's still alive.
I think the biggest problem with being overhigh is when the kitchen was on fire and I was pointing and laughing and eating rootbeer oreos like it was fucking Ozzfest 2000
But like now I know, men who are vegetarians are significantly worse in bed.
enjoying your night?
do dogs like to salsa?
I dont know if that answers my question or not
ok, muffins say "love me", waffles say "fuck me", got it.
There is no way entering a gas station bathroom memorializing an alien abduction in rural New Hampshire is a good idea.
Of course he did! You’ve seen my tits, you know he didn’t stand a chance!
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