Eric and I got kicked off of karaoke last night. Apparently, singing about masturbation to the tune of "A Whole New World" is not appropriate and definitely frowned upon by the DJ.
once she started licking the door on the stall, i got out of there and told her bf "this is your problem now" and walked away
I remember pointing out how smooth my legs were to try to direct his attention away from my vagina.
i was drinking at the bar last night with a guy with no bottom teeth, wearing zubas and a polka dotted hat. if that isn't the definition of wisconsin, i dont know what is
............HELP Ive been abducted by vodka and its poisoning my brain fat chicks are getting cute and i slept with my sisters friend who slightly resembles john kerry....,,help
When i left he was drinking an entire pot of coffee out of the pot with a straw. It's safe to say he's using a personal day
It's not that I'm in love with her, so much as I would love to be her lesbian experience.
Dude you spent 20 minutes on the phone with dominos answering machine trying to order a pizza
Your text makes more sense read in reverse.
My girl came home. i was jacking off on the couch and she just starts telling me about her day, as if im not half naked with my hand on my cock.
Hahaha more like walk of pride. You entered the lions den last night.
this party is nice, but i have to go home and cry over anime in order to fill my daily quota of suffering
I took multi-tasking to a new level. I just ate a plate of nachos off my lap while driving to the bar. And I barely got any on me.
in fetal position in his closet not sure if he knows im here... hugging his spongebob cake pan i stole.... now please come find me..
Next thing I know her tits are out on my desk. It was straight out of a porno. What was I supposed to do I’m not made of stone
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