I walked up to her and said hello and wanted to ask her if she had fun last night... she asked me if we had met before.
home. puking in laundry basket.
so she bought me lunch gave me a blowie then paid for the gas since I drove... I think there's a catch but I'm gonna run with it
we went to the store to buy cookie dough and conditionally went straight towards the booze
I don't understand why everytime I fuck his bestfriend he seems more interested in me...
She made a roadhead CD. Can I marry her?
My liver is begging me not to go, but sadly enough for him my feet and hands control me getting there.
You're gonna judge me.
Howd you sleep with him already
I found him stumbling up to our building with a solo cup under his arm. . . He told me it was his favourite thing ever. He also told me hes never been drunk before.
BRING KITTENS I AM A GENIUS
You're a mystery wrapped in an enigma wrapped in a redhead
I woke up to an email from expedia confirming my flight to hong kong
That guy u hooked me up with kept calling me james while were doing it...
Were we still high when we decided to break your leg?
It’s Sunday Funday! Stop watching football and bring your penis over here. There will be plenty of scoring!
Randomize
