Is making out on a toilet while he is sitting down and pissing weird? cause that's what happened last night
I just smelled my beer. It smells like coming home.
he found my favorite bra, 3 thongs and a pair of jeans and gave them back. i love move out day.
we were hanging out in his room and he decided to play WoW.. so i took off all my clothes while he wasn't paying attention and laid on his bed and started playing with myself.
did he notice?
of course he didn't notice.. he was playing a fiesty level 1 fucker that wouldn't give up..
In the middle of fucking me, she said "Hold on, I need my Hulk hands."
Fastest blow job ever. Though it was probably a good thing since we were in front of my house.
we are watching a video on ethics because somebody wrote "butt sex" on the attendance sign in sheet
We need to get sombreros so I can give them to strippers.
His daughter is our waitress. I left her a ten dollar 'I'm sorry I'm a whore and fucked your dad' tip...
You asked me if you could throw up in my shoe.
Give me a reason to not spend the rest of my evening high watching dogs 101 videos
Executive order 941: BRING ME THE FINEST PANCAKES!
You have got to stop watching the West Wing before going out.
As planned I took it to the limit. Then we met a new limit. Now they are limit friends.
drunk me cartwheeled over a turtle sandbox & slit my foot open on a cinder block. how do you explain that to a doctor?
While strippers were eating ones out of my boobs, several sources claimed trump shared classified info with the russians. We should get hammered on Mondays more often, bitch.
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