Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
Yeah I guess I was Pocahontus. If she were a trifling drunk who hung out in her undies, with possible brain damage.
Do you ever creep on the girls you have banged and wondered how their walk of shame went?
And then a tiny penis fell out of my purse
Ended up passed out drunk in the neighbors lawn, still in costume. Neighbors thought I was a lawn decoration. Ten points for best Halloween ever.
I have sand in every orifice, there are bruises everywhere, and I smell like a distillery. I love summer.
She sucks dick like Beethoven on piano, but talking to her is like Simple Jack in Tropic Thunder. Still working out the pros vs cons list.
Dad just showed up on someone else's golf cart, filled an ice chest with booze and left while yelling "SHINANIGANS!!!!" this is going no where fast.
Huh. I think I went to highschool with the hooker my neighbor just brought home.
Would you and/or him be willing to dress up like the phantom, sing me music of the night and then bone the shit out of me? this is important.
A beef tasting is not what I needed while hungover
Sorry I wore your bra during sex last night
If he refers to me as slump buster one more fucking time.
Nothing like a dick pic from your fave ex to make you audibly exhale sadly.
No idea who's grandma but people were just running around naked
Randomize
