He tried to blame not having a condom on the economy.
Exactly how many bongs can i have before my parents figure out they really aren't vases
I walked into the bathroom and the toilet was on fire... I stood there for like a minute trying to decide whether I should put it out or get my camera.
We stopped her at 12
12 shots? Or 12 midnight?
Which answer would freak you out less
I found the other part of your tooth if you want to put it under your pillow
he kept doing his monologue, "if a vagina could talk."
No, the responsible one does not yell out "lets go to iHop" at 5 in the morning to a bunch of drunk people with munchies.
Sad Megan is Sad
Have you been drinking my beer?
Spider-Man is making out with Wonder Woman while Captain Kirk feels up Princess Lea. Nice to see nerd barriers broken down at Comic Con.
Sending dick pics while driving a car going 80 in the rain at night to a married woman? Why hello 2014
He got too drunk... he threw up ON the closed toilet.
It's a Jersey thing
i just took a huge shit in old main. i think my college bucketlist is finished.
After we won that round of beer pong you attempted to swallow the winning ball whole claiming you had the mouth and jaw of a snake.
A snake? I must've been gone...
After that you got naked and hissed at people the rest of the night..
Dude I may be rolling but there's no way I can make up a 12 ft tall giant green man waving to me right now
False alarm, security just told me it's a radio tower
Your dick. My mouth. We have 20 minutes.
Randomize
