After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
laying in bed listening to christian music, jealous of the hope they have for their life. also need to beat off, can i think about you?
my bedside table was not meant to hold this many beer bottles.
I woke up with my bra stapled to the ceiling, her dad was in the hallway winking at me. I was the less drunk of the bunch.
He told me i had to sleep under his bed. He said it would be my castle.
Spilled red wine all over my bed. This has to be the fiftieth time ive refused to fall asleep without a drink in my hand
I won't apologize to a one balled man
I misjudged the power of my pelvic thrusting capabilities. His nose is broken. Thoughts?
The number of males in the usa getting circumsized are decreasing. Keep this in mind when we become cougars
See? I told you no boy in roller skates could be entirely straight.
And anyway at least being paid in opium makes a cool story
No ambien sex tonight. I just ate two hotdogs with chilli and onions.
My walk of shame is starting to become positively reinforcing; I stop by Starbucks and when I leave I look someone just heading to work.
so hungover. idk whos house or comp im on
So random question: what's a good way to tell your brother that his Skype sex kept you awake last night? I'm not really sure how that conversation begins.
Randomize
