Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?
just a forewarning-if you come home and hang out with your stupid girlfriend the entire time that you are here/fail to get wasted with us i will wish either death upon you or that you truly do turn gay when you return to the navy.
She was sucking his dick at Seacrets outside bar in front of all of us...her friends kept coming over crying and yelling "Tiffany stop it"
they're making a venn diagram comparing gummi bears against gummi worms...is this what i have to sit thru to get free weed????
he just told me i make him happier than drugs. that's some serious shit right there
I was too drunk to read the menu, let alone her body language.
Dude. Hurry up. They just blessed the tequila.
Chipotle chips and wine for breakfast. Its def game day
Haha crisis adverted. Just told my dad I need to bone this guy. Nbd. He totes understands
dude to be honest with you there is a used condom that ive just left on my floor for three days
you have got to get your shit together
I bought new panties to console myself ... you know, because I am going to lose my ovaries. Well, if I don't die of a heart attack first. But at least when the EMS folks find me, I'll be finely dressed from the waist down.
He took a picture of me to show his boss why he was late...Is that a compliment or not?
So...I maybe walked across campus last night with my life size Joe Biden cut out.
I was giving this fat lawyer a table dance and he asked me if I would be willing to play with his long, hard stick of the law. And you want me to stop drinking at work?
whole 5th of capt = waking up in the shower after 2 hours and the whole house asking why i'm STILL in a towel. and me having nothing to say
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