Just got done shaving my balls. You were right.
there are singles shoved down my panties. this is the type of summer job i always wanted.
You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
there's got to be a less slutty way to tell him the baby isn't his
1 month til my stepdad becomes a u.s. citizen, so if you want to get in on the divorce pool its your last chance, $5 a square.
What is an appropriate "thanks for saving my life" gift? I don't have any experience with this.
can we for just one second remember that I played with a homeless man's rat at st marks?
Look, the coffee machine died a noble death. It was the way it would have wanted to go. It was a mercy exploding, really.
My sweat smells like Wild Turkey. I'm really feeling the holiday spirit.
HE WAS SUPPOSED TO BE THE TROPHY HUSBAND! I WAS GOING TO BE THE SUCCESSFUL ONE!
What do you mean? Just eat his food and have sex with him. Unless you want a relationship, then just eat his food.
Serious question, on a scale of go for it to what the fuck are you thinking, what's me going to a monk or any religious official and saying "baptize me daddy" in a serious voice?
Are you in a position where you can bring me some nachos?
Don’t say some truly stupid shit like that to me. In a kitchen. Where the knives are kept
Are these your boobs on my camera?
Randomize
