How crunk are you?
I'm a Tom Selleck. Zero being Tipper Gore and max being the Bush twins
Tickle wars 95% of the time end in sex.
any chance you can send me your legal ethics outline, in exchange for say, me buying you a lapdance the next time we go to the strip club?
Hey if there is a better reason to go drink then "I've been fucking robbed!" I have yet to hear one. Also, I've been fucking robbed.
He said he had a problem he needed to take care of before we got omelets and then showed me his erection.
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
Discovered a freckle on my clitoris. What have you done today?
He said I was cute and he handed me a stuffed bear from his car. I don't care that he was 80, I named it Hector.
We fucked so hard that when I orgasmed I tore his towel rack off the wall. He was more impressed than mad.
We've given up. My vagina is tired of constant lonely nights and disappointments. This is our retirement.
He was eating my ass and came up for air, I almost choked laughing because he had a toilet paper cling on stuck in his mustache
Between randomly bursting into tears and the reappearance of my lost sex drive, this break up has left me bizarrely damp.
ABOUT TO MAKE THE BIGGEST MISTAKE OF MY LIFE, SEND HELP
Have fun and good luck.
I wasn't talking about him I meant his penis! Its not a pet
Oh. Well it should be. I like petting it.
He tried to throw up into a beer bottle. It was a complete disaster. Vomit went everywhere. It put the Bellagio's fountain to shame.
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