Omg Kevin Jonas is engaged!!!!!!
Omg really? To who. Gay marriage is only legal in like 3 states.
I queefed so loud it echoed.
Guy in our group took down a chick in a wheelchair last night.
if I just puked into my own hand, but then cleaned it up quickly, quietly, and calmly, am I still a trainwreck?
I broke up with him in the bar & then asked him if he wanted to have a contest to see who gets the most numbers. I say I took that break up well
Jus saw ur date getting a bj in the mcdonalds parking lot...u want anything?
I let that bitch know in no uncertain terms I was taking the coke dealer in the breakup
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
you told the taxi driver your yeast infection was so bad you wanted to F a popsicle
Grateful to be alive soliciting dick pics. Thankful i'm alive for these little things and especially these big ones too.
It got weird I got a phone call while looking at porn and the video started playing while on the phone full on porn audio.
but if we have a President Trump come Tuesday, I might throw myself off the Walt Whitman Bridge so Thursday might not work for me after all.
Just got invited to a tree party by some random chicks. They're literally just sitting up in a tree with a handle of rum and a box of goldfish crackers and yelled at me as I was walking by...
So her ex boyfriend came up a lot in conversation while I was fucking her. Is that weird?
Who the fuck has a conversation during sex?
Straight boys are literally imbeciles. If Darwinism doesn’t get them female rage will.
Randomize
