Do you ever look back at facebook pics and say, "are those really guys I had sex with?"
if you count grabbing my crotch as an introduction then yeah i got a couple of those tonight
At a Jewish lesbian wedding. I stick out like a sore, uncircumcised penis.
In all honesty of all my sexual conquests, his dick is probably my proudest moment.
All I remember from last night is petting the broom with my feet and feeling like I was standing on a horses head
There was an ice luge. Lets just leave it at that.
WHY DO I WANT TO FUCK EVERY GUY THAT BREATHES
I have lots of feelings today, but drunk is my favorite.
I was told to keep my leg elevated. I assume it means to keep my legs on the air, it's like I was prescribed to be slutty
be right there i have to get my cape
Just met my French neighbor. We watched a crow die together, so we're pretty tight.
I'm gonna give the church their tithe, and the rest is a down payment on boobs.
Thanks for having me over last night. Sorry I licked rum off your kitchen floor.
He was cute in a Sketchy-trying-to-sell-you-a-vaccum-at-9-at-night kinda way.
We are bad people. This is why we are friends. <3
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