My astrological sign? Vagitarius.
Can you return condoms to CVS?
Only if you return your pride as well.
when your friendship is based on dead babies and vodka there is a delicate balance. lesson learned. for what its worth, you are still my number one.
I'm taking this break up pretty rough.. I've never been to sad to masturbate.
Do 'mystery' cracked ribs heal any quicker than regular ones?
I just saw her shopping list. The only things on it are blackberries, hot fudge and condoms. I almost don't wanna know. Almost.
I WALKED myself out of breath. And I'm lost I'm a Tim Hortons parking lot. That's how hungover I am.
allie, at least he made an effort and braided his goatee.
He told me I was a pleasure to arrest. That's the 2nd time I've heard that.
My last google search is "how to build a flamethrower"
if there is one thing you splurge on it better be nice condoms
strip teases shouldnt end with an expensive car covered in salsa and mayonnaise yet here we are
Look, road flare archery was agreed on. We both accepted it was a shit idea sober, but did it drunk anyway.
Dude, you ever snap awake on the toilet at work with that panicked, "How long have I been here?!" feeling??
Look at us. Planning our business meeting. Including snacks like shrooms & trail mix.
Randomize
