i don't have parental supervision. i'm gonna start accepting candy from strangers now.
I just randomly started counting the number of guys that I've hooked up with that are now gay. 11.
i distinctly remember leaping through the apartment to rescue the clam chowder burning in the kitchen
Tequila is the liquid version of celery. I lose more calories during tequila drunk and the following sexual activities than I gain by drinking it...
It's so hard to find a shirt to wear out that is easily taken off, cut off my paramedics, but says "I'm a grown, respected woman"
You're not supposed to support this behaviour, btw the judge recognized me
??I have an official piece of documentation saying you are banned from Las Vegas.
Watching videos from last night and u go "I should be the president, I can get whatever I want w my tits"
New rule: I am no longer allowed to speak
Moonshine marathon is never a good idea
A nap. You broke your hand napping in Vegas.
I mean I want to go somewhere. I just don't want to put on pants or behave.
Also...I'm semi-dating the drug dealer that took me to bible study
I spilled a whole plate of queso and salsa on my bed so I'm just eating it off my sheets with chips. How's your night going?
He paid for a 5 star hotel suite and I raided the mini bar after he left. I think that’s bad karma. Want some pringles?
I got pulled over by the same cop in a 4.5 hour window. Got off both times. Fuck yes.
Randomize
