His text read: Sex? I replied: Not drunk enough. He bought 4 more rounds and tantalized me with the offer pizza later. This could be the beginning of a beautiful relationship.
we are learning about oedipus in english. fuck you for making this awkward for me
can we meet up so i can piece together the end of my night? for instance, did i jump or fall into a plant?
Iranian Rapper, camaroonian basketball player, mexican i forget and indian doctor....this one looks the best on paper.
Haha crisis adverted. Just told my dad I need to bone this guy. Nbd. He totes understands
Listen man this isn't about soccer. It's about America and day drinking... Your two favorite things now get your ass over here
She thinks I come over for the sex, but I really come for the snacks.
His personality is sparkling but nothing beats his ass
Serious question: Should I volunteer to get tazered? My instincts say no but my wild side says yes.
No, it's cool, I just bounced from the hospital. I was...talking to a security guard, maybe?
Had sex in a cemetery last night during a thunderstorm. I feel like my goth points have skyrocketed
Mcnellies. I'm drunk enough that you have a window. Capitalize.
You walked up to me, grabbed my face and said "I just peed in the sink!"
He said he's in to distance fucking. I thought he just mean long durations. We fucked on a towel all the way down his tile hallway accross his kitchen and into the living room
i have too much dick at my disposal? i should make them fight. best dick pic gets laid
Randomize
