you hand the children out the window. i'll pour the drinks.
I projectile vomited into my sink. Jealous?
Kind of. My puke would have just dribbled down my chin and missed the sink completely.
Ohh that happened after I started to cry.
make sure you eat your skittles last so when you barf you can barf RAINBOWS.
I'm glad you enjoy my eating disorder so much.
I swear god or herbie drove my car home
If I die on my trip, you're my chosen person. Nightstand-vibrators. Computer-iphoto naked pictures. I hope you feel honored.
she was handing out condoms w/ her number on them...
threw up in the library. i should be embarrassed, but i'm willing to bet that i'm one of the first so i'm kinda proud.
I mean, once you help another girl drunker than you zip her jeans you can't help but be friends after that
Everytime I am with a guy I hope his penis is as big as yours. It never is. Thanks for setting that bar.
omg i met someone at the bar who sells hair feathers. that are long. saved in my phone as "haiirs deather"
All I could think of during that funeral was how great I look in a suit, how creepy catholics are, and how horny I am.
I knew he was a classy dude because when I told him my name was Jen he said "Gin? Like Gin & Juice?"
I smoked all his weed and he hasn't noticed yet. But I might need a place to crash when he does
Ah, Christ. I just saw a D lister I made out with once on a Rock Of Love rerun. Why are you asleep right now? Some weird shit is happening.
You've reached your one pic per night limit. To increase your limit, start conversations before 9 and submit your request for an additional pic before 10.
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