Haha she couldn't find her dress in the morning. So she left it. How do the hell do I discreetly return that to her at work. More importantly, how did she discreetly do the walk of shame??
STOP SENDING ME DANCING JESUS FORWARDS.
you would think someone who fights for his country could fight to last longer than 2 minutes
well, it ended with me crying outside the strip club saying i don't want to be 21 anymoree. i'd say it was a great 21st birthday.
there are way too many $1s in my wallet for last night to have been 'tame'
They just both started mumbling "i cant go home like this" "it's all over my face" "do you have extra pants?"
I had to drink heavily last night because I needed to forget that you told me you want to blow my dad.
Nah the bridesmaids all had dates. I slept with the next best thing: girl who WANTED to be a bridesmaid but didnt make the cut.
I am in my freshman residence hall trying to convince an Asian man to give me my pants back. Never. Drinking. Again.
Remember that night I drank a bunch of vodka, pounded your Jameson because 'you were a pussy', punched you in the face and ran off as fast as my high heels could go? It was just my Russian and Irish sides fighting for genetic dominance
Someone left me hummas on my door step between the hours of 1am-3am
We did it in the bar bathroom and the bathroom attendant sold us a condom. I love Nashville
So is seeing the guy's penis that I'm talking to something you're into or nah?
Is it unhealthy for me to do shots of pinnacle by myself in my apartment right now? Asking for a friend
So who has the penis shaped party tray? You or your mom?
Randomize
