he called me "his little blueberry cunt muffin"...how would that make you feel?
Eating a girl out that was just in the ocean does not make her taste like saltwater taffy
S and I had anal without a condom because I'm on my rag but he didn't finish. Should I still take Plan B?
A guy on the street just growled at me and said damnnnn. Sometimes it scares me how attractive i am.
is it bad that i have made the decision to never travel to vienna simply because of that transvestite that won the bachelor?
dont start drinking without me
i just hugged the lady at the liquor store goodbye for the summer...
my mom just asked me why she found a half-eaten burrito in the hamper
its not fair. if i was a guy, i'd be getting a high five for banging two in one night.
Just sponge bathed with a swissper. Thrush inevitable. Shaking.
I told this guy in the dining hall that he's a hippie god and he's never made eating yogurt so sexy
Im fairly sure two chicks roofied me last night. Suckers. I love free drugs.
Well, he asked what my sign was, then proceeded to critique me on my beer pong stance... I really need to raise my standards.
Beer bong just needs to be rebedazzled but it's gonna make it
falling asleep on a hardwood floor changes a person
Chili is not acceptable fuck buddy food.
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